Apparently the NSA eavesdropping program has cast a wider net than anyone had dared imagine, as it was reported today that security agents have even been tapping into the soup-cans-connected-by-a-string telephones used by Progresso Soup customers to compliment the soup chefs on the Progresso Soup.
This may seem highly suspect for a legitimate investigation, but intelligence analysts insist it was incumbent upon the NSA to be sure Progresso soup chefs were not in actuality cooking up explosives. You see, people who call Progresso on these can & string telephones generally claim the soup is "like Mom used to make", and that could be code for the infamous al Qaida Inspire magazine article entitled: "Make a bomb in the kitchen of your mom." You just can't be too careful, you see.
And anyway, how come Progresso Soup is going off the grid with such a low-tech system of telecommunications? It definitely raises some red flags when anyone begins using a system of communications which is intentionally designed to be low-tech to fly under the radar. What have they got to hide anyway?
Here's the incriminating evidence of secret communiques Progresso doesn't want the government to know about (Of course they're talking about the soup in the ads, but that's clearly to try to trick us into thinking it's what they're always talking about, when it might be something sinister and dastardly instead!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFmzugixNrE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsJ_kcK2EjI
(Had the company been called Conservito Soup, rather than Progresso Soup, they might also have drawn the attention and scrutiny of the IRS.)
