Recently, Britney Spears set a new world record as the first woman ever to earn six number one albums before the age of 30. Apparently, she’s 29. That’s funny, since I would swear that I remember her bouncing around on MTV as a 16-year-old back in the early 90s, with a bunch of crappy dancers, and singing a bunch of cookie-cutter songs.
But it’s funny: did you ever stop to think that behind every one of her silly backup dancers, there’s a Fame (the movie) type story of how they had always dreamed about being a dancer, and how they would have to overcome so much prejudice, etc., in order just to get their parents’ approval, etc. And then they finally make it, through years of training and bullying, rising like cream above all the other dancers into a career as a terpsichorean, just to end up in a stupid music video in support of some lame teen pop idol. Talk about a pyrrhic victory! Doesn’t that make it seem like it’s all been for nothing?
But it’s funny: did you ever stop to think that behind every one of her silly backup dancers, there’s a Fame (the movie) type story of how they had always dreamed about being a dancer, and how they would have to overcome so much prejudice, etc., in order just to get their parents’ approval, etc. And then they finally make it, through years of training and bullying, rising like cream above all the other dancers into a career as a terpsichorean, just to end up in a stupid music video in support of some lame teen pop idol. Talk about a pyrrhic victory! Doesn’t that make it seem like it’s all been for nothing?
I remember when I was a child, I was amazed at the artwork of local painters and wanted to be as good as them someday. Then I went to the Museum of Modern Art in New York City, and I learned that you don’t actually have to be any good; you just have to scam some influential jerk into thinking you’re doing something meaningful when you’re not. (There must be a musical equivalent for that situation, but with a hot young chanteuse with no talent and some horny old producer guy, but I can’t think of what it might be…) Naturally, I don’t think that about all or even most artists: believe me, knowing it about only some is more than enough! Remember when, in Radio Days, Seth Green (as the kid version of Woody Allen) refuses to do his homework because he found out that the universe is expanding and someday it may break apart, so what’s the point? That’s how I felt about art as a kid fresh out of visiting MoMA for the first time. So I sympathize with those dancers: that’s all I’m saying.
But Britney's back on top! With this new #1 album, there's no denying that. So remember, when you’re a top-selling pop-star, and you begin to feel it all slipping away, follow Britney’s example: have a drug-fueled meltdown and attack the Paparazzi! That’s what I do, and I’m not even famous.
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