Showtime makes a number of excellent original series programs, and before each show starts, they make a big point of bragging that it’s: “Only on Showtime!” Now, is this really nice? First they make a channel without ads on it, and then they show unedited movies. How are regular channels supposed to compete with that? Next they make their own top-quality programming, with wonderful production values, big stars and hot new actors/actresses, full of salacious material that’s totally uncensored. And then they rub it in, boasting: “Showtime’s the only channel with hit movies and the best original programming!” (“Nyah, nyah, ny’nyah nyah!”) Well, my teachers used to say that it’s not nice to brag. Aren’t we always taught how arrogance and selfishness are negative, undesirable qualities? And here we’ve got these jerks at Showtime literally rubbing all the other channels’ faces in it that they’re better than all of them, and that they’ve got all this great stuff no other channel has. Isn’t that kind of like the smart kid in the class at school also being the jock and the best-looking and super-rich all at the same time, plus they bring something really yummy to eat in class but make a point of only bringing enough for themselves and rubbing it in that nobody else can have any? I’m just saying: it’s rude! And making all the other channels jealous isn’t going to make Showtime any friends; sure, they’ll all hang out with you because they want to be you, but they all wish behind your back that you’ll get cancer or something. You’ll see.
