I saw an ad on TV just now that showed a ribbon-cutting ceremony as a part of the narrative. That reminds me that there are probably more and more of these types of ceremonies happening with the increase of media available to showcase them, and that to make them more dramatic, the participants are having huge, functional scissors made for the occasions. This ad shows that, so it must be true everywhere. Now, this may be a good thing for dramatic effect, but what about the potential for abuse? Say some government official is mad at the guy in charge of whatever project they’re opening because it took too long or was too costly to complete. Well, that makes the politician look bad. So he could fake a seizure or stroke or something and use those huge scissors to cut off the guy’s hands “by accident” while he’s holding the ribbon, right? And since politicians are mostly old, they could get away with it. All they’d need would be a corrupt doctor, and remember how President Obama said that there are tons of doctors amputating people’s feet and removing everyone’s tonsils for no reason other than just to get the extra money? Well, now that he’s ruined that payday for them, aren’t they all going to start colluding in plots like this? It’s obviously true! I’ll bet it’s happening everywhere and they’re just covering it up because it makes the stimulus plan look bad when industry leaders always get their hands cut off every time they open a new factory or whatever. The president said the stimulus plan would create lots of jobs and fix lots of infrastructure with “shovel-ready” projects. Then he came out recently and said: “There’s no such thing as a shovel-ready project.” Well, that looks like an obvious attempt at a smoke-screen to me. How are we supposed to believe that they spent around a trillion dollars and we got nothing tangible out of it? No, I say that’s definitely a cover-up! We’ve got thousands of new factories, railroads, rebuilt bridges, highways, etc., but we don’t know about it because the government is trying to cover up the fact that every one of those dedication ceremonies ended in the mutilation of some industry leader's hands. If we knew that, we might question the efficacy of his stimulus plan, and his healthcare plan too. And that’s way more important than a bunch of rich jerks' hands. Oh, right; and I almost forgot: the attackers who cut off all the hands are obviously government officials, and that’s another reason why the government would cover it up: they take care of their own, man!
