There was a news headline online just now that reads: “Motorcycle deaths drop, but trend is worrisome.” Now, I’m not going to ruin any headline like that by reading the article. All that could do is disillusion me about how bloodthirsty this journalist is for motorcyclists. No, with a headline like this, I’ll always prefer to daydream about what the article ought to say based on the headline.
Say, for example, that some motorcycle guy out of Mad Max slaughtered this woman’s family, and she’s been lusting for revenge ever since. She’s been hoping that he’d die in a crash or something, but now this news brings her the concern that this guy may escape justice forever. That might explain it. Maybe her husband has some online gambling site where people bet on the number of motorcycle deaths, and since there are less of them, he’ll be going out of business soon. Or say she’s got some scam going where she sets up fake motorcycle rider insurance policies and then fakes their deaths and gets rich off of collecting the payouts. The insurance company might see this trend and begin to smell a rat. Next thing you know, they’re onto her. Perhaps, worst of all, she lives in a nice quiet hamlet, but since there are less motorcycle deaths lately, all the local wimpy midlife-crisis guys have taken to buying Harleys and are roaring all through the neighborhood day-in and day-out. Now she can’t even kill them without making everyone suspicious.
See what I mean? Nope, when you run across a great news headline like that, you’ve just got to savor it.
