The parties in congress have finally come to a deal to avert the government shutdown, and everybody in Washington is furiously spinning to make it look like both sides won an enormous, historic victory. (Hee, hee.) But some people have come forward to say that this $38 billion dollars in cuts is “small potatoes” compared with the huge budget deficit and the national debt. When it ends up being such a small sliver (well, crumb, really) of the actual pie, some people argue it’s not worth cutting anything at all. This budget fight was ridiculously contentious, with people like Chuck Schumer (D {for douche-bag}, NY {BTW, “D” usually stands for "Democrat", but in his case, it obviously stands for “douche-bag”. Remember, he’s the guy who got caught on camera, when he thought the camera was off, planning to play politics with this rather than trying to help solve the problem.}) saying crap like that budget cuts are only being demanded by “the flea that wags the tail that wags the dog in the minority of House Republicans”. (If he was referring to the Republicans’ dick move of trying to gut Planned Parenthood, he should have offered an equal amount of cuts in some other areas to counter it, rather than just grandstanding about it {stupid drama queen}.) I didn’t realize that fleas were so financially prudent; I thought they were blood-sucking parasites like all our politicians. He should be careful of the metaphors he uses, or they might backfire and make us think of him instead. In this case, it just makes me think of him too.
So, seeing as how this deal is such “small potatoes”, was it really worth squabbling about? I would argue that yes, it was. It’s at least a step in the right direction for the government with regard to beginning the process of budget cuts we need to survive as a country, and there’s something else, too. Aren’t small potatoes always the yummiest? I mean, think about it. I love little potatoes: they’re tender and succulent, and since they’re smaller, they take less time to cook and thus do not get all dried-out and tough like baked potatoes usually do. And the skin is thin and tasty too, not all leathery and desiccated like on the bigger ones. You can just put a tray of sliced-up red or fingerling potatoes in the oven with a little olive oil and garlic cloves and bake them for a little while, and as long as it doesn’t set off your smoke alarm, they’re great! There are also these nice little “blue” potatoes that are especially good when they’re small. (They’re actually purple, but I guess it’s kind of like calling red hair “red” when it’s really orange. I don’t know why we do that, but whatever.) So I’d contend that if there are any potatoes really worth fighting over, it’s the small ones.
