Last night I saw an ad with Phil Mickelson in it for some pharmaceutical product that’s supposed to help with sciatic nerve pain. I can’t even remember what the product was (isn’t that par for the course with today’s ads? {Sorry, I had to put a golf metaphor in there.}). But I do remember that Phil Mickelson said that for people suffering from sciatic nerve pain, he’s “been in your shoes”. Well, I was wondering why I’ve been suffering from athlete’s foot lately. And then the product had a disclaimer about how “some types of fungal infections are normal”, etc. A-ha! So, they’re even going so far as to make up fake fungal infection warnings so that when Phil Mickelson breaks into your house and tries on your shoes, you’ll think that it’s just a normal effect of the drug. Yeah, right! Mickelson’s just using this product as a way to get people’s addresses, and this ad as a way to distract us from discovering that he’s wearing all of our shoes while we’re asleep and giving us all athlete’s foot! How do I know? Well, he’s a professional athlete, isn’t he? And he’s got feet, right? Well, what more proof do you need?
