(Yea! My 100th post! Now I get a cookie.)
It is said that when you choose the path of revenge, first dig two graves: one for your intended target, and one for yourself. But is this really a good idea? Digging a grave all by yourself, never mind two of them, is really hard work. What if you throw out your back? You may never be able to go get your revenge then. And people might see you digging what are obviously graves and get suspicious. Then the police may be watching you and arrest you before you can accomplish anything. I wonder if it’s permissible to hire someone else to dig the graves for you. Or maybe, if you really have to (or want to) do it yourself, can you dig them afterwards? It just seems like it makes more sense. After all, what if you dig them both, and then you get killed or arrested before you can get your revenge, or the guy you want to kill dies of natural causes or is hit by a bus (or whatever) before you can get to him? Then you dug them both for nothing! And your neighborhood association is going to fine you when they find out about it; and they will find out, too, if you’ve got two open graves just sitting there in your yard while you’re off trying to get revenge and stuff for however many weeks or months it takes. You could ask them first, but they probably won’t let you, and then you’d have to dig lots more graves before you could even get revenge against them for denying you permission. No, I think it makes much more sense to dig the graves after you’re done getting revenge. Whoever made up that expression must not have put too much thought into it.*
* (That’s a joke, son. {<Foghorn Leghorn accent, please} Of course this expression comes from Confucius. And do you know what else Confucius said about revenge? That’s right: he said it’s a dish that’s best served cold. You know why? Well, obviously after you’re done digging two graves, you’re going to be all hot and sweaty, and you’re not going to want anything hot to eat. So that’s why you serve it cold. Kind of like a popsicle, I guess.)
