Scribe: The Swordplay Video Game

You've heard the expression: "The pen is mightier than the sword", right? Well, for literary types, I think there should be a combat video game to illustrate this point. (Don't you?) The game would be called: "Scribe: The Pen Is Mightier than the Sword!" (A knock-off could be called "Author Assault!") It would be a fighting game like Mortal Combat, with the same type of 3rd-person perspective (as in seeing the two fighters objectively, head to toe, from a 50-yard-line view), and a similar mode of game play, and the difficulty would increase with each level of the game: For example, in the first level, the player would use a really heavy and sharp metal pen with a poisoned tip that shoots bullets to fight a weak coward with a dull plastic toy sword; the next level would have the player fighting with a sturdy metal ball-point pen that also shoots ink against an amateur fencing novice with a practice foil that has a safety tip on it. And then it would continue to give the player a wimpier and wimpier pen to fight with against stronger and more highly-skilled opponents using deadlier and deadlier swords. Then the higher levels would have stuff like a plastic Bic felt-tip pen against an expert swordsman with a razor-sharp saber, a wide-tip highlighter pen against a knight in armor with an extremely lethal broadsword, and finally a flimsy little bird feather quill pen against a Jedi knight with a light saber. And in each of these levels the player must defeat their opponent in mortal combat using nothing but the pen and perhaps an inkwell and some paper (and because the expression "the pen is mightier than the sword" makes no reference whatsoever to paper, ink, or writing/prose/poetry/propaganda of any kind, perhaps only the pen should be allowed, just to be fair to the sword; however, maybe there should be little tricks to obtaining and using ink and paper, and perhaps even being allowed to write stuff here and there throughout the game, just to keep things interesting; and then maybe a player could kill an opponent with death by a thousand paper cuts or something). In any case, I think this would quickly become the favorite video game of English Literature departments in colleges and universities throughout the country, and with authors everywhere. And by providing the option for first-person perspective mode, maybe it could even make the game feel more personal, and players could make themselves feel powerful and potent before writing a big article or book or political pamphlet, and it could inspire them to greatness! (Or else it could make them waste all their time so they never write anything. But maybe it's the perfect treatment for writers' block too! Hey: You never know until you try it! It could work!)

You know you want to play it! So let's demand for a gaming company to make it today!