Tuesday, October 16, 2012

BMW Dog Neutering Ad

In this delightful little spot, a mom and her young daughter get in the car with their dog, ostensibly to take the (fully grown, adult) dog to get neutered. Well, too bad for them, because this BMW displays their intention, and their dog is fluent in English! Well, no sooner does our heroic dog character read this information, but he has it confirmed to him by the little daughter, who innocently reads the appointment information aloud in the car, and the dog scarpers away to protect his “manhood”, as it were.

Well, this is all humorous and charming and all, except for one thing: This is a blatant and obvious plot by BMW to prevent pet spaying and neutering, and hence a plot to overpopulate the world with dogs, cats, etc! We’ll be overrun with masses of our fine furry friends everywhere! It will be a madhouse! It will be just like The Trouble with Tribbles, but with dogs and cats, rather than tribbles! Oh, the humanity: they’ll eat us all up!

Well, this commercial conspiracy must be making Bob Barker barking mad! This new BMW system is obviously designed with the express purpose of warning pets of their upcoming spaying and/or neutering, giving them time to rebel and escape, so they can overpopulate the world and consume all of the Earth’s precious resources, leading to death, destruction, and the extinction of every species on Earth! Oh, the humanity! So this is the way the world will end this December, as foretold by the ancient Maya! Those dastardly Deutsche, denizens of destruction, designing the damnation of us all! Help, help: call the dogcatcher! Stop these BMWackos before it’s too late! (Oh, and get your pets spayed and neutered; but do it in another type of vehicle, because the BMW will rat you out to your dog and cat!)

Here’s the canine conspiracy car commercial: