I’m not talking about celebrities using pen names to write books, here; I’m talking about authors using the names of celebrities as their pen names. Because, look: I have noticed a trend in our culture where many celebrities’ books become instant bestsellers, presumably mostly because they were written by famous people. But most authors are not famous people, especially at first. And, to level this unfair playing field, we must redistribute some of this wealth so that it’s fair. After all, is it fair that a book becomes a bestseller just because it was written by a celebrity? Especially when that celebrity is a TV show host, they get tons of free advertising and publicity simply by repeatedly mentioning the book on their own show. Plus, since they’re in television, they already know other people in television, so they get to do all kinds of other TV shows to promote their book, whereas most authors do not get such an opportunity. It doesn’t even have to be a good book to sell when they have such a vast promotional platform.
But there is a solution to this problem, and it is the previously stated strategy of using pen names. For many authors, it is not unusual for them to choose to publish their work under a pseudonym: a pen name, if you will (even though we all use word processors now). And since it is clear that books written by celebrities are generally instantly popular and become bestsellers, why not use as a pen name the name of a famous celebrity? A writer of historical fiction or non-fiction could use the pen name “Bill O’Reilly”, and instantly get their book into the top ten of the NY Times bestseller list. (After all, three of Bill O’Reilly’s recent books are currently in the top ten right now!)
In fact, it is a common practice with bestseller books for authors to cut deals with famous and popular celebrities where the author writes the book, the celebrity claims to have written it, and the two of them split the money from sales: it’s called “ghost writing”. Well, if the writer simply uses as a pen name the name of the famous person, they can cut out the middle man, and just keep all the money themselves! Because once they start doing it, the celebrity will complain about it on TV, giving the book tons of free advertising, and then everyone will want to read the book at the heart of the scandal. (We love our scandals here in America.) And since many people have the same names as many famous people, the author can say: “You can’t own a name: that’s selfish.” And then they’ll get away with it!
In fact, it is a common practice with bestseller books for authors to cut deals with famous and popular celebrities where the author writes the book, the celebrity claims to have written it, and the two of them split the money from sales: it’s called “ghost writing”. Well, if the writer simply uses as a pen name the name of the famous person, they can cut out the middle man, and just keep all the money themselves! Because once they start doing it, the celebrity will complain about it on TV, giving the book tons of free advertising, and then everyone will want to read the book at the heart of the scandal. (We love our scandals here in America.) And since many people have the same names as many famous people, the author can say: “You can’t own a name: that’s selfish.” And then they’ll get away with it!
So it’s clear: for authors to sell more books, they should write under a pen name that is the same as a famous celebrity’s name.
