A recently declassified report reveals that the US military
was trying to develop a flying saucer in the 1950s. Journalists and government
types are now claiming that this is the whole basis for the flying saucer
thing, and that aliens aren’t really invading Earth and abducting people and
infiltrating the government, even though we all know they are. The elephant in
the room here is the revelation that these US military flying saucers were only
able to fly a few feet off the ground at slow speeds of about normal town
automobile traffic, and it was quite unstable.
Well, you know what that means, right? Obviously these are
not the flying saucers everyone keeps seeing, because those fly really fast and
stuff, and they abduct everyone all the time! So this declassified report,
rather than debunking flying saucers, proves they’re really aliens!
(Because the human-built flying saucers couldn’t fly very well, so they
couldn’t be the one that’s been abducting you in your sleep every night that
your friendly neighbor the CIA/alien hybrid keeps telling you was just a dream.
But it’s not a dream, they’re here! To Serve Man: It’s a cook book! Aaaaa!*
{If it was just a dream, then how come you have an unknown metal alloy control
chip in your brain? They can’t find an explanation for that so fast, now can
they?})
Here’s the spaced-out saucer story:
* That “cook book” reference is from an episode of The
Twilight Zone, if you are unfamiliar with
the reference.
