A lot is being made of the wasteful government expenditure known as the “robosquirrel”. This thing supposedly cost $325,000, but I think I understand what this thing is really for, and why it might end up saving us money in the long run.
Look, we all know how every so often, there’s some icky scandal about some congressional representative that gets caught in some sexual situation, and we lose time and money with investigations and litigation, etc., right? Well, it’s only a matter of time before some congressman gets caught in one of those gerbils-up-the-butt scandals, and then animal rights people will make a big stink and sue, tons of taxpayer dollars will be spent on legal stuff, and the whole thing will be a fiasco. Well, that’s why they’re been developing robosquirrel.
So they’ve been developing a robo squirrel so nobody would become suspicious, but this is all clearly just a ploy to create a robotic gerbil so that congressmen can use them for their deviant sexual shenanigans, and then nobody will get in trouble for it, because it won’t be a real live animal. Plus, they could put a microphone and a camera in it, and do surveillance on these guys to see if they need to be investigated for anything more serious than gerbil-up-the-butt stuff. So everybody wins! (Unless somebody leaks a video from the robogerbil: them we all lose!)
Here’s the story (but they leave out the secret gerbil plan part):
