In the face of mounting evidence of career-long doping, Nike has dropped disgraced cycling star Lance Armstrong. But is this a good idea? Many, many athletes cheat and dope, so wouldn’t it make more sense for Nike to simply start a new brand for cheaters, and have Lance Armstrong be their spokesman? The new line could be called Nike Cheat, and it could have secret pockets for performance-enhancing drugs and substances, secret storage for clean urine and a fake penis so cheaters can appear to be urinating their own urine for drug tests, and secret methods for disposing of used syringes and stuff. And if they did that, wouldn’t everybody win? Cheaters would be outed, and shamed, but not discriminated against, and they would be able to be themselves and celebrate their cheating nature with dignity. And Nike could cash in on it too! (And just to make it seem more legitimate, Nike could donate a portion of the profits from the Nike Cheat line to an education program that encourages athletes not to cheat.)
Here’s the steroid-enhanced story:
