As we all know, there is a very large cut in military spending coming down the road. And lots of military commanders and political surrogates are spinning furiously in an attempt to keep it from happening. Well, it doesn’t have to happen, no matter who wins the upcoming election. How can we avoid it? Well, it’s easy…
All we have to do is this: We could send out a message to all the countries of the world, saying that we’re being forced to make drastic cuts to our military budget, and that means our weapons might not be as reliable as before: after all, you get what you pay for, right? So if any of our nuclear missiles accidentally launch on them and destroy their country, please don’t blame us. Of course, if they’d like to ensure that doesn’t happen, they could make a donation to the United States military, and maybe we can make sure that sort of thing doesn’t happen. But otherwise, we can’t make any promises.
Wow, think of all the money we could collect! We’d only have to accidentally destroy like maybe one country, and they’d all get scared and help us pay for all of our budget deficits. I mean, right? Then we’d never have to reform anything! And at the rate we’re going, isn’t this really a more realistic strategy to avoid default than trusting our elected officials to act?
(Naturally, this is just a joke. But hey, if we could make other countries afraid of this scenario, maybe they would buy lots of missile shields from us, and we could still get the money!)
