We all know how desperate people are for deals these days,
and we’ve all seen the chaos and pandemonium that results when deal-desperate
shoppers battle it out for the super savings on Black Friday. In fact, we can’t
even avoid seeing it on the news it’s so popular. So why not make a
reality-style game show about this? You know people would love it!
Yes, rather than camping out for days to join the crush of
other shoppers locked in a death struggle over hot deals throughout a crowded
store, leading to unseen injuries and mayhem, contestants could instead camp
out for days to join a combat-style competition for the items they want two
shoppers at a time! They’ll wait in a long line for days, with many different
lines, one line for each specific item people want to most, and when they get
to the head of the line, contestants are let in two at a time, and dressed in American Gladiators protective gear and
using padded weapons, they battle it out for who wins the item, like, say, an
X-Box or a 60-inch HDTV. Just think of the win-at-any-cost mentality meeting
the bloodlust of crass covetous consumerism: what a spectacle we’d see! And
with the winner getting the item at an even deeper discount that the regular
Black Friday, and with the loser getting free medical treatment and a special
prize afterwards, just imagine what we’ll get to see!
No more missed mayhem and mutilations due to the
overwhelming crush of savings-obsessed shoppers blocking the view of cell phone
cameras: with the game show set laid out like a real big-box retail store, and
with cameras placed at every possible location, angle, etc., you won’t miss any
of the bone-crunching, greed-grasping, injury-intending action! Plus, with all
the coverage, you can slow down each confrontation to see the venal violence
up-close and personal, and in slow motion! Never before has coveting been so
confrontational! Plus, as an added incentive, if the losing contestant fights
viciously enough, they can even win the item in question themselves as well, so
everybody wins!
You know you want to watch it! See all the beneath-the-scrum
action you’ve been missing on the news coverage of Black Friday riots! It’s the
Black Friday game show: Black and Blue
Friday: Greedy Gift Grab! It could prove so popular, it might lead to its
own 24-hour cable channel of live, real-time materialist combat. Call your
cable company today and demand it!
