In this never-ending news cycle on the Miami Dolphins
bullying stuff, we’re all treated to a smorgasbord of deleted profanity,
usually replaced with the word: “blank”. And it’s getting totally ridiculous,
with news reporter after news reporter reading the same type of “I’ll (blank)
your (blank)ing (blank) in the (blank)!” quote, so I propose something to make
it all a bit less ridiculous: Let’s have a guy named “Blankman” read them all. (He
will be described as someone who has spoken like the Smurfs his whole life, but
always says: “blank” instead of: “Smurf”.) That way all the reporters will look
a lot less silly. And because Blankman will look stupid instead, he can wear a
mask, with maybe a blank expression on it. Or would that make everything even more blanking ridiculous?
