We’ve all seen the Frosted Flakes ads where some young boy eats Frosted Flakes for breakfast, and Tony the Tiger shows up to encourage them with paying football or whatever. Well, since Tony the Tiger is also an imaginary cartoon tiger, why not have him make an ad with a kid who has another imaginary cartoon tiger: Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes? Oh, but since Tony and Hobbes are both male tigers, they’d have to fight it out to the death for dominance, wouldn’t they? And it doesn’t matter that they are both imaginary, cartoon tigers, because male animals always fight over turf and such. And I’d venture to guess that Hobbes would win, because he’s not always eating sugary cereals, so he won’t have a “crash” later. Plus, Hobbes has a long and storied history of fatally attacking other characters (or at least he claims to have done so occasionally), and Tony the Tiger just shills for sugared cereal. But you know, maybe Tony the Tiger ruthlessly stalks and kills people all the time in his private life, and he only acts like a civilized, tame tiger in the ads because it’s his job, and without it, they’d stick him in the (cartoon) zoo. Well, I guess we’ll never know what would happen until they finally make that ad! (Oh please, oh please!)
But if it’s an ad for Frosted Flakes, I guess to make the cereal look good, they’d have to have Tony kill Hobbes.* Or would that result in a backlash, making people hate Tony the Tiger? Wow, maybe Tony would have to let Hobbes win. But wouldn’t that put the lie to all the ads that claim Frosted Flakes are so great for strength and energy and sports type activities? Hmm, this is more complicated than I thought. But maybe, just maybe, some other mascot, perhaps for a healthy brand of cereal, could come in and save the day, releasing Calvin from the threat of both tigers, and teaching him the importance of eating a healthy breakfast, like maybe Bruce Jenner (He’ll need a job now that he’s divorcing the Kardashians.), dressed in safari gear, as a big game hunter who hunts sugary cereal wild animal mascots for Wheaties. But naturally, he uses tranquilizer darts, and only captures the cereal mascots for a game preserve, where all the other sugared cereal mascots live, finally freed from the bondage of shilling for sugared cereals, like Toucan Sam, the Trix Rabbit, the Cocoa Puffs Cuckoo, etc. And then finally Calvin would learn how much happier Hobbes would be in his natural habitat. Or, at least, that’s what the people at PeTCA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Cartoon Animals) keep saying.
Here’s the kind of Frosted Flakes ad I’m referring to:
And here’s an old Bruce Jenner ad for Wheaties:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtF9RvF12nA
* Yes, Frosted Flakes: The cereal that kills your imaginary friends!
* Yes, Frosted Flakes: The cereal that kills your imaginary friends!
