I have said it before and I'll say it again: Those cows guilt-tripping people in the Chick fil-A ads are fine for people who feel guilty about the fact that cows are slaughtered for beef, but for those who don't care, it's just a silly concept. (Not that a silly concept doesn't make good ads, though...) But if they really want us to eat more chicken, they should show us that chickens are a threat to our safety, and that if we don't eat them, they'll attack and kill us all (and our families!). And so this new Tums ad, where a baked, headless chicken attacks a man who is grilling in his back yard (yes, chickens will attack you even after their heads are cut off, which is why you must actually eat their bodies to eliminate the threat. You know, kind of like shooting zombies in the head. Only it tastes a lot better to eliminate the threat posed by a chicken. I speak from experience.) would make a great ad for Chick fil-A. Right after the chicken attacks the man, the cows could show up with a sign that says, written in their awkward, misspelled bovine penmanship: "See? Wee tryed 2 warn yoo. Eat mor chikin, or els theyl kil U!"
Here's the backyard barbecue brutality from the fowl fighting fiend:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3ju3qmFjZU
BTW: The part at the end is a dirty lie! Cooked headless chickens are violent and deadly, and they never want to play volleyball when they could kill you instead! Don't fall for this ad's dangerously misleading tag, or you won't live to tell about it!
Also, remember that Burger King ad with the Kung Fu chicken that was trained to have "just the right amount of kick"? Well now apparently there are whole martial arts schools dedicated to training chickens to fight human beings, even if they're already cooked (!). You heard the chicken make those martial arts sounds, right? What else could it mean? (Even without a head, chickens are capable of making those sounds!)
