Bloomberg Soda Ban Propaganda Film

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has banned sodas sold in cups larger than 16 ounces, and now he’s banned people from buying 2-liter bottles of soda with delivery pizzas, which are usually part of a low-priced package deal for families. Now I know that this seems like the ridiculous strictures of an asinine little self-appointed namby-pamby dictator, but this is a serious threat to humanity which Mayor Bloomberg is saving us all from. And to prove that’s exactly what’s truly going on here, hizzonah the billionaire mayor is bankrolling the making of a monster movie like Godzilla, but with a giant, 50-story-tall 32 ounce soda attacking New York City, knocking down buildings, spraying soda everywhere and flooding the city, drowning us all in its sticky sugary goodness, and of course, threatening our children with obesity (!!!). So look for this exciting thrill-ride, coming to a theater near you (if you’re a resident of New York City)! (Oh, and I probably don’t need to tell you, but I might as well tell you anyway, that attending the movie is compulsory, so you’ll go see it whether you like it or not, just like with every other arbitrary whimsical dictatorial mandate that strikes Mayor Bloomberg’s fancy. But it’s for your own good, so you’d better appreciate it or else!)