CNN has been covering the story of this Carnival Cruise ship full of raw sewage finally being tugged into port in Mobile, Alabama, all day long. It sounds awful, but you know, maybe there's a new TV show in here somewhere? The 1970s and '80s had The Love Boat, so how about The Sh!t Ship to reflect the times in which we currently live? Isn't it a great metaphor for the shape the economy is in, the debt crisis, the nuclear threats coming from North Korea and Iran, etc.?
Yes, it's The Sh!t Ship, where every deck is the poop deck! And maybe it could even be a reality show like Fear Factor or something, but where the cruise company decides all the passengers are too overweight, so they put them on this ship, and everyone loses weight because it's so disgusting and it smells so bad everywhere. And the TV show would be all the candid camera footage of everyone being miserable for days at a time! It would be the perfect show for schadenfreude fans, just like most reality shows seem to be aiming for.
Or it could just be a romantic drama series where everything goes wrong onboard the whole time, and couples have to try to stay hot for one another in repugnant, execrable conditions.
But whatever the show is, it should definitely use The Love Boat's theme song music with (mostly) new lyrics, like so:
Sh!t, excreted for you,
Come aboard, we'll excrete on you,
And sh!t, life's stinkiest reward,
Let it flow, it floats back to you. (<That's a line from the original theme song!)
The Sh!t Ship, surely will give everyone the runs,
The Sh!t Ship, toilets clog up to begin the fun,
Just get used to the stench and,
Let crap flow into your pants.
And sh!t won't stink anymore,
It's an open sewer in the halls onboard,
It's, Sh!!!!!!!!!!!!!t! Welcome aboard, it's Sh!!!!!!!!!!!!t!
Here's the original theme song (Sing along with the new lyrics!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icAwcByaNtY
Here's the crappy cruise news:
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2013/02/cnn-really-really-really-poop-cruise-disaster/62159/
http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/14/travel/cruise-ship-fire/index.html
