Wednesday, February 13, 2013

M&Ms 2013 Super Bowl Ad

This year’s M&Ms Super Bowl ad was pretty fun. It showed one of the M&M characters (the red one, I guess because of the red light district being symbolic of prostitution?) singing a version of Meat Loaf’s “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)”, and acting as though he loves romance, but he doesn’t like being eaten, which is all the hot chicks ever seem to want to do to him. (Maybe next year’s Super Bowl ad could show him being coddled by one of the hottest women in the world, and he says: “Okay, you win: Eat me!”)

But you know, if this M&M guy really wants to avoid getting eaten by women, I think I have a foolproof solution: Insult them! After all, if they’re offended, they won’t be in the mood for food, right? So to save his own life, he ought to wear a “No Fat Chicks” t-shirt. That way, all the women will think he’s a chauvinist and they’ll go eat Reese’s Pieces instead. And of course he’s only doing it because this woman in the commercial killed his brother (when she ate him), and he knows she’s allergic to peanuts, so she’ll die from the Reese’s Piece, who he has paid to stamp an “M” on himself to trick her (!), the fiend!

Or maybe to save themselves, M&Ms should pretend to be Skittles! (Skittles taste like crap, so they should easily survive, so long as it’s only adults they’re threatened by. {Children apparently love Skittles. It must be their unrefined palette, huh?}) All they’d have to do is replace the “M” with an “S”. And that ought to help slow the obesity epidemic (for adults, at least), right?

Here’s the cunning chocolate-coddling/chocolate-consuming commercial:


This spot is really cute, and kudos to whoever conceived of it. (It’ also particularly well produced.) But you do realize that this will start everyone wanting to eat those they are hot for, don’t you? I mean, there’s the blizzard in New England right now, and people might just remember this ad and start salivating about eating their loved ones now that they’re snowed in. (And if anyone ever gets you a M&M costume for Halloween, I hope you’re now aware of what they’re really up to: They’re planning to eat you!!)