We all know about the wonderful Disneyland ride: The Haunted Mansion. But you know, it’s kind of getting old. So why not make a new ride that’s a lot more zeitgeist-y with the recent housing market crash? And with everyone recently building McMansions that sit unsold, wouldn’t this be the perfect setup for a new story? Plus, everyone would understand the storyline. It would go something like this:
Some overextended real estate speculator or securities trader would buy a small house in a very upscale neighborhood and, constricted by its small property line, build a ridiculously overbuilt monstrosity on the tiny lot: a brand new McMansion. Oh, but then the housing crash and the credit crunch happen, and the new house is worth nothing compared to what it was supposed to be, and with credit companies being a lot more strict about loans, nobody is in the market for it either, at any price. So, overextended and desperate, the builder commits suicide and haunts the place, and presto: an instantly socially relevant haunted house theme park ride! Plus, it would have the double horrors of a haunting and the horrifyingly gauche amenities and design sensibilities of a McMansion!
(Or else it could be a ride in a McDonald’s theme park, showing an old abandoned McDonald’s being haunted by the ghosts of its old dead advertising characters, like Mayor McCheese, the Hamburglar, Grimace, etc.)
I can hardly wait! I hope the next haunted house ride I go on is: The Haunted McMansion!
