CNN Reports that it’s International Polar Bear Day today,
and that the people behind International Polar Bear Day want us all to adjust
the temperature in our homes down a few degrees today, with the goal of
decreasing carbon emissions. Well, I live in Los Angeles, California, and today
it’s going to be 75 degrees. So, um, should I turn on my air conditioner? I
don’t see how that reduces carbon emissions. But hey: they asked, so I guess
I’ll turn on the AC for the polar bears.
But that’s when I realized: half of the world is in the
middle of summer right now, and so their request that we all lower the
temperatures in our homes must have some alternate purpose (!). And that’s when
it hit me: They’re trying to get us to make our homes cold so that the polar
bears can feel comfortable when they come to eat us! I knew it! (The truth is
that the worst thing for the environment is overpopulation of the planet,
because it causes an overuse of everything: too many emissions, too much deforestation, too much pollution, too much overfishing of the oceans, too much waste, etc. So maybe it would be good for the
environment to have the polar bears come eat some of us. I mean, uh, some of you.)
(If these people really love polar bears, why not swim up to
the arctic and let the polar bears eat them? That would help the polar bears, right? And then we wouldn’t have to turn on our air conditioners and release more emissions.)
