Monday, December 31, 2012

Fashionably Late

For all of my life, I have heard people use the expression "fashionably late". It would seem that lateness is always in fashion. But almost nothing else ever is in fashion for very long, so why is it that fashion designers have left the issue of punctuality out of their fashion lines? Shouldn't the fashionability of lateness fluctuate just like hem-lines and the waist-height of pants? Then it could become associated with different styles of clothing.

I think a fashion designer who makes strict, military-style business attire could really make a name for themselves if they added strict punctuality to their line, making being on time the hot new fashion trend. (Frankly, I'm surprised Helmut Lang didn't do it.) And then, with everyone always on time everywhere, our productivity would skyrocket, immediately fixing the economy! And then the designer's clothes would become mandatory at all businesses, immediately making them uncool to everyone. And then, as a result, another hot new fashion designer would design a line of extreme casual wear to rebel against the strict ideals and punctuality of the fascist formal fashion line, and as part of this rebellion, it would become fashionable to be late again. Until, of course, this slacker mentality sunk the economy into another nosedive, and then lateness would become unfashionable again.

So I wonder when I will start to hear people saying someone is "unfashionably late"?