Zero Dark Thirty Torture Music

I remember back in the enhanced interrogation period that the news said interrogators were using loud heavy metal music as a method of breaking down detainees, and in Zero Dark Thirty, there is a brief scene showing some kick-ass thrash/hardcore song being used for this purpose. Now, I’m a former metal musician, and I can tell you without a doubt that everyone I’ve ever played with would have loved to be selected for the music in that scene. It’s not because they like or condone torture: it’s because as a metal musician, I think it’s considered a compliment to have your music deemed brutal enough to be used as a weapon. Personally, had I been that detainee, that music would have been the only bright part of a dark and miserable experience. But after all: I love metal.

It’s hard for me to believe that heavy metal was decided upon as the torture music by the government/military/CIA guys. But I guess that decision was made by older men who don’t like it. I would think it would be more energizing than anything else, unless you’re trying to sleep. For me, it would be all that auto-tuned crap and boy bands: I’d tell them anything they wanted to know if they played that noise at me! In Woody Allen’s movie Bananas, there is a scene where someone is being tortured with operetta records, and that’s what I always thought of when I read about music being used on terrorist detainees.

You know, it occurs to me that Columbia Pictures could probably make a lot of money with a tie-in compilation album of Zero Dark Thirty Torture Metal, with stuff from bands like Deicide, Darkthrone, Suffocation, Mayhem, Sodom, Carnivore, etc.

In fact, maybe there could be a set of Zero Dark Thirty action figures, and they could come with all this enhanced interrogation stuff, like a PA system, heavy metal music, rope, towel, water pitcher, claustrophobia box, etc. (Detainees sold separately.)