Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Oil Company (Joke) Christmas Ad

Hey, we all know about how oil company ads are all about distracting us from pollution, greenhouse gasses, climate change, oil prices, etc., right? Well, then how about a Christmas-themed ad related to the melting Arctic ice-cap? Here's how it might play out:

A benign-seeming spokesman for the oil industry (or a specific oil company) could come out onto a Christmasy-looking set and say: "We're all concerned about climate change, and what it's doing to the North Pole. And with the melting Arctic ice, countries are looking for drilling rights and more oil exploration. And that's why we at (whatever company) are working with Santa Claus to move Santa's workshop to the South Pole, so all the good children of the world will continue to get the presents they want at this festive time of year.

"But wishes aren't just for children, and that's why Santa Claus has given his blessing to drill his former homeland for riches, so adults can share in the joys of Christmas too, with untold wealth from oil and natural gas and diamonds: it's Santa's gift to adults; and like most adult things worth having, we have to work for them. But despite dressing in red and looking like Karl Marx and giving free stuff away, Santa Claus is no commie: and that's why he's letting us strip-mine the North Pole. It's his gift to us, but we still have to earn it.

"(Whatever oil company): keeping Christmas safe for future generations while exploiting the natural resources we need to keep America strong." (And then a couple dressed as Santa and Mrs. Claus would walk out with a couple of suitcases each, greet the spokesman and heartily shake hands, as movers arrive on set to help move Santa's stuff.)