The EU got the Nobel Peace Prize this year, and CNN
International showed three European guys accepting the award today. But don’t
you think President Obama should get it again? I think he should get it every
year! He could suggest that if they don’t give it to him again, the Nobel
people might find a drone targeting them.
And that’s when it hit me: Couldn’t some strong-arm leader
threaten the Nobel group into awarding them the Peace Prize? This bully leader
could say he ought to get it, because if he doesn’t he’s going to bomb them.
And then if they say he doesn’t deserve it, he could say that he doesn’t
deserve it yet, because he hasn’t gotten it yet, and if he doesn’t get it,
he’ll bomb them and kill them all. Oh, but if he does get it, he won’t bomb anyone, and as such, he will
deserve the Peace Prize for not doing it.
Well, it might be hard for the Nobel committee to argue with
that logic (as it generally is for groups with no military), and so they might
grant it and give it to the bully. Oh, but then word would spread about how
this came about, and pretty soon, the worst of the worst terrorists and
warlords the world over would start to try the same thing! One guy would
threaten them with a dirty bomb, another would threaten a sarin gas attack, and
yet another would kidnap their families, and then they’d have to decide who to
placate. And then the Nobel Peace Prize could simply become a triage system for
trying to avoid the worst attacks, and knuckling under for the ones that would
come from the losers. And I can’t think of a more appropriate way for the peace
prize founded by the guy who invented the (cumulatively) most lethal weapon of
war thus far: TNT.
Hey, come to think of it, where’s the Oppenheimer No Nukes
Prize, the Winchester Not Shoot ‘Em Up Prize, etc?
