President Obama has reportedly selected Senator John Kerry as the successor to the Secretary of State position currently held by Hillary Clinton. Now, John Kerry is a good man and a great American, but is Secretary of State really the best job for his abilities? Remember that this is the guy whose confusing verbal-diarrhea manner of speech lost him the presidential election in 2004 against George W. Bush (!!). When you lose a war of words with that guy, it’s time to go back to English class.
Now I will readily admit that his DNC speech was much better and to-the-point, but that was pre-written. How would it have sounded had it been spontaneous? The Secretary of State is tasked with smoothing over relations with other countries; if Kerry talks and talks until he drives them crazy and then talks and talks some more, we might just make enemies, rather than friends. And think of his translators: they might all commit suicide one after the other! Oh, the humanity! (Of course I’m kidding, but I hope he’s a bit more pithy in this job.)
So here’s hoping he’s better at getting to the point nowadays: that’s all I’m saying. (And I’m not one to talk about that issue, and yet, even I recognize it’s a problem for him!) And best wishes for his success as Secretary of State. (No joke there! Thank you for your service, Sir.)
But see? Look what always happens whenever anyone listens to John Kerry speak for too long (They go crazy and have to be tasered, for their own good! But we can’t just go around doing that to foreign leaders and diplomats, now can we? {Or can we? Maybe it could be a new reality show to interest our youth in public service?}):
Did everyone notice how the president made the announcement that Kerry is his pick for Secretary of State, but that even though he was standing right there, Senator Kerry didn’t even get to say anything? This may be by design, so hopefully nobody will remember what he sounds like.
