Norad is tracking Santa Claus? A-Ha! This is part of the "War on Christmas", isn't it? Democrats have commanded the military to target Santa and destroy him for being non-inclusive, haven't they? I knew it!
Why else would Norad be tracking Santa Claus? (I mean, sure, they used to do it during Republican administrations too, but that was obviously just to protect him! Now he's in their sights and marked as a target! You know it's true!)
Well, anyone who doesn't get exactly what they wished for for Christmas, be it world peace, or the girl/guy of their dreams proposing to them, you'll know what happened: they killed Santa Claus! (Try to claim now that the "War on Christmas" isn't real!)
(Just kidding! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! Santa will surely fulfill your every wish without fail! Unless...)
