Thursday, December 27, 2012

"Psycho" Therapy

Yes, now there is Psycho Therapy: psychological therapy designed around the movie Psycho! This uses scenes and characters and plot elements from the movie Psycho in an attempt to help patients overcome their psychological problems. Here's how it works:

As many of us know, Freud considered that most people's psychological problems were centered on parental issues, many of them stemming from mother issues. Well, in Psycho Therapy, patients receive a therapist who dresses and acts like Norman Bates's mother; and after a little while of that kind of oppressive, obsessive relationship, patients will realize how trivial their mother troubles are compared to Norman Bates's, and they'll just get over it and cure themselves. That way, patients can finally "bury the hatchet", so to speak, with their mother. (Of course, if they bury the hatchet in their mother, the hospital will deny any and all responsibility, or even ever having met or treated them. But that doesn't happen that often.)

And for other troubles like addictions and compulsive behavior, Psycho Therapy simply seeks to convince the patient that if they don't stop their destructive behavior, they will get murdered just like in the shower scene from the movie Psycho. So each and every time the patient tries to sneak off to smoke a cigarette, or whatever their bad habit is, someone dressed as Norman Bates dressed-up as his mother arrives with a huge kitchen knife in hand and chases them around, pretending to try to kill them. And after this horrifying threat-therapy, patients generally defeat the unwanted habits. So the threatment is very effective.

Of course, advanced expert treatment like Psycho Therapy is expensive. It generally runs around $40,000.00, and patients must pay by hiding the money in a folded-up newspaper.

That's Psycho Therapy: Try it today!