Burger King used to have a great ad song when I was a little kid:
Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce,
Special orders don’t upset us,
All we ask is that you let us have it your way.
Have it your way, at Burger King,
Have it your way, at Burger King.
We can serve your broiled beef Whopper,
Fresh with everything on top or,
Any way you think is proper, have it your way.
Have it your way, have it your way,
Have it your way, at Burger King.
But now Burger King is trying to buy a Canadian company so they can avoid American business taxes through a reprehensible scam loophole known as “inversion”. And in light of this, I thought maybe they could have a new ad jingle, to the tune of the “Have It Your Way” song, like so:
Higher taxes, we won’t pay you,
With inversion we’ll betray you,
All we ask is that you say we’ve no tax to pay.
Taxes no way, at Burger King,
Tax we won’t pay, at Burger King.
Our tax cheat is such a whopper,
Tax loopholes we use to prosper,
We’ll do anything improper so we don’t pay.
Tax cheat’s our way, tax cheats all day,
Tax we won’t pay, at Burger King.
And how about a new slogan for them, too:
Burger King: Home of the Whopper Tax Cheat!
Here’s an old ad with that “Have It Your Way” song (It starts at 0:24):
(BTW: Maybe our business tax rates are too high, but this inversion thing is really yucky. I can see if a company gets bought by a much bigger foreign firm how that could permit a relocation for tax purposes {but even then I don’t like it}; but to buy a smaller foreign company just to use it as a shell corporation and a tax dodge: man, that ought to be a crime; and it most certainly is betraying the people of this country.)
