(Please read the above headline to yourself in a really loud Don Pardo*-style voice with lots of cavernous reverb and echo effects on it.)
Russian scientists have announced they have found some plankton thriving on the outside of the orbiting International Space Station, living in oxygen-free conditions previously thought impossible for life to exist in.
I was hoping they’d add: “And American scientists can’t see it, because we’re not letting them on our rockets anymore: nyah nyah!” And then add, on top of that: “Ha ha: we’ve got space plankton and yo-ou do-on’t!”
Here’s the spaced out story:
How long before it’s grown to gigantic size and threatens the world?
Hey, wait a minute: We’ve seen this movie before; it’s called: The Green Slime! And it includes rivals who hate each other on a space station facing an alien threat previously thought benign that’s very similar to the plankton here. And we all know how that ends! (The space station blows up and burns up in the atmosphere after almost everyone dies. Let’s see if that doesn’t happen this time. The movie even happens in the 21st Century: coincidence? Pretty soon the Russians will be begging for us to help them destroy The Green Slime and save the human race: mark my words!)
Here’s the trailer for The Green Slime (This is probably happening up there right now!):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HJlJL6m4aU
Oh, and did you notice, the trailer spells Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer: “Metro-Goldwin-Mayer”? (Yeah, Sam Goldwyn would be spinning in his grave right now, if his name weren't actually originally Samuel Goldfish. But maybe a goldfish is what we need right now, for a goldfish could eat all the space plankton and save the Earth! And that misspelling in the M-G-M name could have been a sign, a clue to remind us of goldfish, sent to us from the future, to tell us how to save humanity from PLANKTON FROM SPACE!)
Hey, wait a minute: We’ve seen this movie before; it’s called: The Green Slime! And it includes rivals who hate each other on a space station facing an alien threat previously thought benign that’s very similar to the plankton here. And we all know how that ends! (The space station blows up and burns up in the atmosphere after almost everyone dies. Let’s see if that doesn’t happen this time. The movie even happens in the 21st Century: coincidence? Pretty soon the Russians will be begging for us to help them destroy The Green Slime and save the human race: mark my words!)
Here’s the trailer for The Green Slime (This is probably happening up there right now!):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HJlJL6m4aU
Oh, and did you notice, the trailer spells Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer: “Metro-Goldwin-Mayer”? (Yeah, Sam Goldwyn would be spinning in his grave right now, if his name weren't actually originally Samuel Goldfish. But maybe a goldfish is what we need right now, for a goldfish could eat all the space plankton and save the Earth! And that misspelling in the M-G-M name could have been a sign, a clue to remind us of goldfish, sent to us from the future, to tell us how to save humanity from PLANKTON FROM SPACE!)
* (BTW: RIP Don Pardo, Mr. Booming Voice Announcer from SNL. He was great!)
