When I was a little kid, Scope has ads on television telling us about how Scope gives you minty breath, and not medicine breath. But what’s wrong with medicine breath? After all, medicine helps cure illnesses, so it’s clear that medicine breath cures sick people; and so this whole getting rid of medicine breath must have been some conspiracy involving health insurance companies that didn’t want people to be able to get well from illnesses by smelling people’s breath, right? (I knew it all along!)
A-ha! So Scope must be trying to help keep us all sick for profit by denying us medicine breath. (I thought so!)
Here’s an example of the Scope ads from my childhood:
See? She says her mouthwash cleans, but he says her mouthwash can’t clean your mouth better than Scope. But Scope has no medicine breath, and I heard from a doctor that’s the only reason there are still diseases today. (Minty breath will kill us all! Aaaaa!)
(Just kidding. It’s not their fault. Scope just wants your breath to smell good while you waste away with the illnesses medicine breath would have cured…)
Hey, this might make a good Listerine attack ad against Scope.
(BTW: I just like playing around with the idea of what would happen if products made attack ads against each other like politicians do during election season. But it’s all meant in fun.)
(BTW: I just like playing around with the idea of what would happen if products made attack ads against each other like politicians do during election season. But it’s all meant in fun.)
