This has been driving me crazy for a long time. Why don’t battery ads ever reference those ubiquitous scenes in horror movies where someone in the dark under threat tries to use a flashlight and it dies on them in an ad? And so, after seeing the Evil Dead remake, where they use this tired old trope again, and after reading about a movie called Rabbit Horror (by the guy who made Ju-On: The Grudge), I thought of a fun play on this whole genre thing. And here’s how this would play out:
Someone is being stalked by a monster in a dark circuitous basement area, and they find a flashlight. Well, one of them, frightened, tries to use the flashlight to find their way out, and they turn it on, it dies on them, and it only serves to let the monster know where there are. So the monster strikes, and it kills them horribly in the dark, after which an announcer says: “Oops! Looks like someone should have used Energizer batteries!” And then the announcer, who is also there in the basement, turns on his flashlight to demonstrate how well Energizer batteries work, and we see that a giant, rage-filled, monstrous version of the Energizer bunny has killed everyone (except for the Energizer battery announcer), and it’s covered in blood. And the announcer continues: “Use energizer batteries for your flashlights, or else you’ll die horribly in the dark. No, I’m serious, this bunny reacts violently to disloyalty, and once you incur its wrath, it keeps going, and going, and going…” (And as a tag, we see the announcer saying: “No, no, master! I wasn’t going to say anything! I told them nothing! I’m loyal to you, master! Aaaaaa!” And then the bunny kills him. {BTW: That dialog is of Renfield from the 1931 Dracula, for you horror movie innocents.})
But I am serious that this general idea of the horror movie trope of the dying flashlight at the worst possible moment would make a great ad! It just has to use the old horror movie trope of the dying flashlight at the wrong moment, and then they could say that if the victims had used Energizer batteries, they would have survived. See? Easy as pie. And dependable as an Energizer battery. (Unless you accidentally leave it in an electric guitar for 15 years and forget about it: then it will explode and ruin the electronics. I speak from experience.)
