I have previously stated that if they’re going to hit someone in the
head with an apple in an ad for Redd’s Apple Ale, why not have it be the
original hit-in-the-head-with-an-apple guy: Isaac Newton? But why not present a
joke version of this ad myself, seeing as how they probably won’t ever make an
Isaac Newton ad anyway? So here’s a possibility for a joke Isaac Newton ad for
Redd’s Apple Ale:
Isaac Newton sits thinking about mathematics and physics in his garden,
and we see the formulae he’s thinking about superimposed over the picture, like
in the movie A Beautiful Mind, and then more formulae superimposed over
each other, etc., and he says to himself: “How will I ever get up the nerve to
present these ideas to my fellow scientists?” And then the apple hits him on
the head, all the formulae disappear, and he says: “Hey, how about some Redd’s
Apple Ale?” So then we cut to some science convention after Newton has drunk a
twelve-pack of Redd’s Apple Ale (and I do mean “drunk”!), and
Newton is all inebriated and arrogant, infuriating everyone and refusing to
shut up or go away. And he says: “Man, I’m the smartest scientist ever! You
guys will never understand the stuff I’ve theorized! Religion is
a farce! The Church is corrupt and silly! I’m tellin’ you, idiots, I (incomprehensible
from slurring)…” Then we cut to Isaac Netown being burned at the stake for
heresy, and after the bonfire is lit, the announcer says: “Redd’s Apple Ale:
It’s hot!”
