“Just when you thought it was safe to go to the bathroom…”
Such is the tagline for the most terrifying movie ever in gut-munching horror! (Actually, it’s more specifically bowel-munching horror, but it’s close enough, right?) It will scare you sh!tless: literally! And conveniently, you’ll be on the toilet when it happens, so it’s perfect!
Yes, it’s Jaws Number 2, when too much sushi in our diets attracts sharks to the sewage treatment plants in seaside cities, and sharks invade the sewer system, swimming all the way up through the pipes and into our very toilets themselves to bite us in the ass! (Or more to the point: bite our asses off! Yes, it’s another movie where what you eat bites you in the ass!)
And, this movie, while seemingly impossible, is actually completely realistic in its likelihood, because as we all know (or we all ought to know it, anyway), sharks don’t have bone skeletons: it’s cartilage! And cartilage can bend and flex to let big sharks swim through pipes other predatory fish can’t!
Yes, it’s Jaws Number 2: There’s something fishy in the bathroom, and it’s hungry for you! Terror so dizzying and visceral, you’ll have to sit down to catch your breath; but don’t sit on a toilet, or you’ll become chum! And you’ll be sick in the ‘head’ when you see what’s left of your friends and family who fall victim to the splashing slaughter of Jaws Number 2!
That’s Jaws Number 2: Beware the ‘Bottom Feeders’!
That’s Jaws Number 2: Beware the ‘Bottom Feeders’!
