Friday, September 6, 2013

This Old Dark House

The success of home improvement shows and ghost hunting shows on cable channels has led to them being combined into one fascinating cross-genre offering, to be titled: This Old Dark House. This would be a new haunted house/ghost show, but instead of the ghost hunting show’s attempts to find and contact ghosts and investigate apparitions and demons, this show would have fixer-upper people renovating broken down haunted houses, and while they’re working on them, ghosts would haunt them, demons would mess with them, and slasher killers would stalk them, but they’d be so busy working on the house, they wouldn’t even notice. And their working on the house would always foil all the attempts of the malevolent entities’ to harm and/or scare them. So, for instance, a ghost would materialize in a doorway to frighten them just as they finished installing a new door, and then they’d just close the door on the ghost, and comment on how the new door looks and functions. And when a slasher killer would try to sneak up on them, they’d accidentally hit them with a hammer in the head while they’re hammering nails into something, and they wouldn’t even notice, thinking it was a wall they’d hit, and the slasher would stagger away. And when they’re trying to figue out what color to paint a room, some demon would write something threatening in blood on the wall, like: “You will all die horribly!”, and the renovators would completely fail to notice the haunting and simply ignore the threat and just say to each other: “Yeah, I don’t think that’s really the right color for this room.” And then they paint another color over the threat, saying: “How about this one?”

That’s This Old Dark House, coming soon to a cable channel near you!