We’ve got a lot of world religions banging up against each other for world domination these days (actually for hundreds, thousands of years), and it’s caused a few problems. So why not settle it once and for all with a monster truck rally? That’s the real American way of doing things! So here’s a list of our combatants for this supreme religious smackdown this Sunday at the Crystal Cathedral raceway (They’re all awesome, awesome, awesome!!!):
The Christian Crusher
The Muslim Mulcher
The Hindu Hacker
The Buddhist Basher
The Shintoist Smasher
The Taoist Thrasher
The Zen Zapper
The Jew Jammer
The Dervish Destroyer
The Mormon Monster
The Mormon Monster
The Voodoo Vaporizer
The Rasta Wrecker
The Pagan Pulverizer
The Wiccan Whomper
The Scientologist Scimitar
The Jehovah’s Witness Jalopy
The Atheist Atomizer
The Satanist Stomper
And as a special added attraction for the kids: The Karma Crusher eats Pope Benedict’s disused Popemobile!
Whichever monster truck wins will determine which religion dominates the world, and everyone will have to convert! Prepare to be converted (to whoever wins)! That’s the Religious Dominance Monster Truck Rally: Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!!! (Disclaimer: All attendees waive their Constitutional protection of freedom of religion.)
