Monday, September 30, 2013

Throw the Shoe: An Iranian Game Show?

As we all know, showing the sole of your shoe to someone is the gravest possible insult in the Middle East, and as a result we end up seeing unpopular leaders and foreign dignitaries being pelted with shoes. (In fact, it was reported that Iranian President Rouhani got a shoe lobbed at him after his historic phone call with President Obama.) And that’s why it would make for such a fun game show to throw shoes at people everyone is mad at! If someone would have the sense to make it, I’ll bet Throw the Shoe would quickly become the most popular game show in Iran!

Yes, it’s Throw the Shoe, the game show that’s sure to be a big hit in Iran if someone would put it on Iranian state television! Here’s how it works:

Each contestant is given a number of shoes to throw at pictures of people Iranians don’t like much: American presidents, American diplomats, Israeli government and military officials, the Shah, etc. And each time the contestant hits the picture of these people in the face with their shoes, they get fabulous cash and prizes. Oh, but surrounding each picture they want to throw shoes at is a ring of pictures of people who are popular in, and in fact are in charge of, Iran; like the Ayatollah, the Mullahs, etc. And if you accidentally hit one of these pictures with your shoe, you go to prison or get executed, depending on who it is you’ve hit. (Yes, even if you do it by accident, they’ll treat you as if you conspired to do it.)

Then, in the bonus round, the winning contestant is pelted with brand new, never worn models of the newest, most wonderful and fashionable and most expensive shoes in the world in their exact size (Jimmy Choo, Alexander McQueen, Giuseppe Zanotti, Prada, etc.), and they have to act angry and detest each and every shoe and then they win them all. But, if they express any interest whatsoever in any of the shoes, they lose everything.

How long will it be before Iran gets to watch Throw the Shoe? And once they see how popular it is, it can be expanded to every country in the Middle East! Yes, the next TV phenomenon to seep the region is: Throw the Shoe!