Thursday, January 23, 2014

Bustin’ Bieber (Justin Bieber True Crime Movies & TV Shows)

With the coincidence of mob arrests on charges related to the JFK Lufthansa heist referenced in the movie Goodfellas and the arrest of Justin Bieber on serious criminal charges today, Hollywood has decided to rush into production movies and television shows based upon the shocking true crime stories of Justin Bieber.

The first production, the theatrical film Bustin’ Bieber will show the months of undercover police work necessary to bust the vicious criminal Justin Bieber, and the brave cops who risked their lives finally to bring this immoral human animal to justice. This heroic tale of cops living on the edge to stop a ruthless maniac is said to be the grittiest true crime film since Goodfellas.

Next, a dark, noirish television series called Justinfied will introduce a stalwart US Marshal who has come to redeem a desperate town living under the brutal thumb of the crime kingpin Justin Bieber. (It’s sort of like the TV series Justified, but with the even more menacing Justin Bieber as the villain.)

Following closely on the heels of Justinfied will be a prison lock-up show following our pop idol’s abject experiences doing hard time in prison called Justin Time.

Then, a new farcical sitcom series called Bustin’ Justin is planned, showing the hijinks of a pop star’s brushes with the law, and the Keystone Kops-style police department that always manages to drop the ball on making the case against him, constantly arresting the singer, but always having to end up dropping the charges.

And slated for next year comes the thrilling narcotics trafficking crime drama The Canadian Connection, about a drug kingpin trafficking in Sizzurp posing as a teen pop idol singing sensation, attempting to cover up his drug trafficking empire with juvenile vandalism and DUI drag racing arrests intended to throw investigators off the track of his real criminal activities. But one DEA agent isn’t fooled, leading to an underworld of horror and thrills!

And of course there will be the made-for-television true crime movie of today’s criminal conspiracy to drag race and the resultant thrilling arrest, The Justin Case.

And what entertainment package would be complete without a reality TV series? And in this case, the show is Justin Justice: it follows the crack team of police investigators who make it their business to protect the public from the nefarious crimes of Justin Bieber.

Be sure to see them all, they’ll be unbelieberble!

(Now, this is just a joke, but apparently CNN has gone whole hog on this already and is currently showing a specially produced show on how Justin Bieber's life is spiraling out of control, based on just two recent incidents {which I beliebe are staged to make him seem tough and dangerous now that he is no longer a kid} and a bunch of normal exasperated reactions to scandal rag photographers.)