Yes, it’s The
Intolerants of Tolerance, the superhero team! A product of their time and
culture, they use their superpowers of super hearing to overhear offensive
comments, their superpowers of being super offended to become super angry and
vengeful, and their superpowers of strength and speed for super persecuting
anyone they think said something offensive! Yes, in this country today, words
are considered worse than murder, and so we need superheroes who will act like
it, defending our hearing and sensibilities from the pernicious onslaught of
such offensive and intolerant remarks, with such remarks being worse than
physical assaults and even mass murder, like we all know them to be.
(Superman, your
days are numbered, because you only care about defending us against physical
threats, you insensitive dolt, you! Get with the times, my super friend!
Physical abuse is nothing next to being offended by thoughtless, offensive,
intolerant comments!)
Whomever said:
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” must have
been a super villain, attempting to trick us all into leaving ourselves open to
the vicious and lethal infliction of torture and harm from offensive
statements! (The fiend! We should find out who said that and smear and abuse that
villain mercilessly, relentlessly and with extreme prejudice until they admit
they were lying all along to fool everyone!)
Yes, thank
goodness for The Intolerants of Tolerance, for when they hear something
offensive (they are super-sensitive, so they are offended by things we normal
mortals think benign, harmless comments, protecting us from dangers we aren’t
even aware of: now that’s super super-heroism! Plus, with their super
hearing, they can hear offensive comments the rest of us would never hear, smashing
through doors and walls to apprehend the nefarious sayer of such offensive
stuff before it can be said publicly! {Although they always publicly say what
their victim, um, I mean, the villain said, just so we’ll all know they are
righteous do-gooders protecting our ears and consciences from the evil of free
speech! [Um… I thought free speech was supposed to be a good thing
and was guaranteed under the Constitution. Oh, never mind… It’s probably evil
nowadays anyway. I’m sure they know better than us, just like news people and
the government.]}), they fight and repress and endlessly persecute the person
who said whatever it was that was said deemed offensive by our heroes (beating
them up, publicly shaming them, etc.), even going so far as to hate and bash
and bully them for what race, gender, political affiliation, height, weight,
social class, etc., the villain is, and then to proceed to smear and attack
everyone in that group as well, seeing as how they must also be guilty of
having the same views as the one who uttered the offending remark. Because
while maybe they all haven’t said the same kind of offensive intolerant
comment, they’re probably all thinking it, and that’s just as bad, if not even
worse, because it’s sneaky and secretive, and probably
conspiratorial to boot! (I mean, right? Surely we must all hate and revile them
all, both publicly and privately, don’t you think? It’s just the right thing to
do! {People on the news do it all the time, so it must be right.})
And so, with
these heroes to show us the way, hating and being intolerant of anyone who says
anything that seems intolerant, or can be twisted into seeming intolerant, or
whomever we think might be intolerant even if they haven’t said anything
intolerant yet, we will make the world a better place through hatred,
animosity, suspicion, prejudice, and proactive, preemptive ad hominem smear
attacks: Yea!
Hey, wait a
minute: this is even worse than
someone just making an offhand offensive or intolerant comment, isn’t it? So they’re
actually super villains, aren’t they? Hmm, I wonder why so
many people act like these guys already, seeing as how it’s so destructive.
(Oh, well: I’m sure they mean well, huh?)
And so, once
alerted to the fact that they are now being as or more offensive and intolerant
than those they seek to destroy and protect us from, The Intolerants of
Tolerance demonstrate to us all the hypocrisy of using an intolerant
comment as an excuse to create a groundswell of intolerance toward others. And
as such, maybe they’re really superheroes after all, using reverse psychology
to wake us all up to the poisonous nature of this whole letting comments become
more important than everything else in life! (See? I told you they were
heroes!)
(Okay, so this is
obviously ridiculous, but I see many people doing this kind of thing on TV
every day, using an offensive comment someone made as an excuse to breed hatred
and intolerance to an even greater extent, so I thought it needed to be made
fun of just a bit.)
BTW: I always
felt like the people making the intolerant comments look bad enough on their
own without anyone else piling on and revealing their own intolerance, which
just makes them look bad too. I think we can all make up our own minds
what to think of things without being propagandized to about it, and I think
the news people should give us more credit than to treat us all like schoolchildren.
Bigoted insults generally say more about the one saying it than it does about
the one targeted, don't you think? Why even dignify intolerant remarks to begin with by responding to them at all (especially on such a massive scale)? It’s not
worth it. And the ones who make a living harping on this stuff are often bullies
themselves, and hypocrites to boot, using such comments as an opportunity to attack and smear others.
