We all know Count Chocula, right? And named as he is, he must be a vampire who drinks chocolate, right? Well, I can’t think of anyone who has chocolate inside them like M&Ms, especially when you consider all the M&Ms characters they use in their ads. And so, naturally, Count Chocula would stalk and attack them for their chocolate blood, right? And every time he attacks and drains one of them of their life-giving chocolate, he could say: “Their chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hands!” And he could show us his mouth, dripping with chocolate, and then show us his hands, which he used to grasp the M&Ms, with no chocolate residue.
No? Too violent? Oh, but how about as a Halloween M&Ms ad? Surely that would be really fun! (But I guess they would need General Mills’s permission to do it. But why wouldn’t they let them, as it would be a free ad for Count Chocula! Unless they don’t want anyone to know who Count Chocula gets his chocolate meals from… {Although as he is a vampire who drinks chocolate, he must attack someone to get the chocolate by definition, right? [Unless the Nesquik rabbit makes a synthetic chocolate drink for him, like in the Underworld movies. But even then, surely the Count would enjoy cheating on his diet now and again, at least around Halloween, right?]})
