A portmanteau film made up of overtly campy versions of W. Somerset Maugham stories, each starring Faye Dunaway in a cameo role. Or else a combination of his better known plotlines into one mishmash storyline movie, like with the hero from The Razor’s Edge passing through China on his way to Tibet and meeting up with friends from The Painted Veil while they’re fighting a cholera outbreak, and what do you know but the doctor from Of Human Bondage is there fighting cholera too while slavishly following his tramp love, who is Miss Sadie Thompson in this version, but she loves the painter from The Moon and Sixpence, so the doctor goes to get a love potion from The Magician before being gunned down by the heroine of The Letter by mistake, causing everyone to die from cholera.
Ideally this project would be directed by John Waters.
