I was reminded the other day of the movie Life of Pi, seeing as how I still have a screener of it lying around, and it made me think of another, similar story: Life of Pie. Yes, in this retelling of the tale, a passenger ship sinks, and only a few people manage to save themselves in a lifeboat, with only one thing to eat between them: a pie. Oh, but little do they know, but it’s a living, sentient pie, and it knows what they’re up to! So, using its deadly martial arts skills (it having learned such skills to defend itself against dessert lovers and children), it manages to beat up, toss from the lifeboat, and drown everyone except one guy, who said at the beginning of the conspiracy to murder and consume the super-intelligent warrior pie: “I don’t like pie.” And so these two stalwart survivors work together as a team, learning to respect and admire each other, until they are ultimately rescued. Oh, but by then, the pie has become moldy, and the rescuers throw it away into the garbage, to which the human survivor says: “Good, get rid of it: I never liked pie.” (And then it gets eaten by rats and pigs: Oh, the piety!)
Oh, the pathos! It’s the sweetest tale with the flakiest characters of the crustiest fight for survival that’s packed with the most filling you’ve ever seen: It’s Life of Pie, coming soon to a dessert store theater near you!
(And as a sequel, we team our heroes together for a Hindenburg-style air disaster survival actioner called: Pie in the Sky!)
