Tuesday, December 4, 2012

A Fiscal Nightmare

On CNN International tonight, Jessica Yellin spoke of the problem for President Obama and Republicans in Congress to come together to solve the fiscal cliff and avert “a fiscal nightmare” like last time. Now, some of you might not know what a true fiscal nightmare is like, but it is serious. It can take many forms, like for instance, dollar bills of all amounts become soldiers like the deck of cards in Alice in Wonderland, with each higher denomination of bill being higher up on the chain of command in the military. And rather than the Red Queen, it’s The Fed, or worse, your creditors who command them: “Off with their heads!” (But they use drones, which are online trading cookies {which are like big digital chocolate chip versions of the flying guillotine}, to kill you!)

Also, fiscal nightmares can take the form of a US President acting like they are trapped on a currency note like General Zod from Superman II was trapped in that double-sided mirror prison, only when you release them, they’re just a head (!!), and they become a flying vampire head like from those Thai Krause horror movies, and to stay alive, they drain the country’s monetary resources, since they’re the “life blood” of the country, and they’re from inside a currency note. (Oh, the only way to kill one of those is treason, so I won’t tell you how to do it. They were our greatest presidents, after all! How dare you try to kill them!)

Of course, the worst kind of “fiscal nightmare” is where you dream you get rich, you “make it rain” on yourself with money, and your warped brain turns it into a cluster bomb that falls on you (!), while everyone else laughs at you. Ouch! Good thing it was just a bad dream, though! And once you wake up, the economy will be in perfect shape! The whole worldwide financial crisis was all a dream! (Like in The Wizard of Oz!)