Here we have another one of those silly scripted Chevron ads that pretend to show regular citizens saying the same thing as a Chevron employee so they can brainwash us all into raping the Earth so they can get filthy rich and destroy the environment at the same time (those monsters!). But we’re onto them! We don’t need energy anyway! I prefer to read in the dark with night vision goggles anyway and just wear twenty sweaters when it gets cold! But I do like flammable water, so they can do whatever they want as far as I’m concerned, so long as I get my palm greased.
But all jokes aside, why not have a sillier version of this Chevron ad to serve as an ad for the Matt Damon movie about gas fracking called Promised Land? It could be in this same format, but with Matt Damon’s character in one box, and with a townsperson opposed to hydraulic fracking in the other box. Then Matt Damon could say: “Hey, we all know we need energy, and we’ve got hundreds of years’ worth right underneath our feet!” And then the other person could say: “Yeah, so long as you don’t mind poisoned water!” And then Matt Damon could say: “Hey, that’s not true! Fracking is safe and efficient.” And the townie could say: “Yeah, whatever, you Earth-raping corporate greed monster!” And Matt Damon could say: “Hey, wait a minute here, we’re just trying to…” And the other person could interrupt him, saying, “…Destroy the environment!” And then Matt Damon could say: “Hey, shut up you smelly hippie; I’ll kick your ass!” And then the townie would say: “Bring it on, you lame avaricious oil lackey!” And then they could reach into each other’s boxes and start punching each other. Wouldn’t that be fun?
(I think this might be a more accurate representation of what a real-life version of this Chevron ad’s scenario would be.)
Here’s the comical Chevron commercial:
