About two weeks ago, I read a story about how Germany wants
its gold bullion reserves back from the United States and France. Well, seeing
as how far in debt we are, I wanted to see if I could think of an excuse to
keep the gold. But it wasn’t until tonight, when I saw again the wonderful
Ealing comedy The Lavender Hill Mob that
I figured out how.
Why don’t we just say the movie Goldfinger was really a documentary, but that America changed
the ending so we wouldn’t be embarrassed? And so Goldfinger stole all the gold,
and that’s why they can’t have it back. And that explains why America is broke
too, if anyone asks. (It’s not government overspending: it was Goldfinger!)
Hey, it would be a lot easier than saying they owe us for war
reparations and the Marshall Plan, right? (Although those might be legitimate
reasons right there. But they’re not nearly as much fun.)
