Assuming any meaningful gun regulation like an assault weapons ban would fail to pass, gun control advocates in Congress have decided on another angle of attack. Their new initiative requires all legal gun owners to listen to the song “Locked and Loaded” by Jackyl all the time while using their firearms. The aim here is to make them shoot themselves, thus leading to one less gun owner in the country.
Now, naturally, law-abiding citizens will listen to Jackyl’s song over and over again, but criminals will probably listen to more listenable music and be fine. So again, only law-abiding citizens will be affected! Plus, like most reactionary social engineering laws, there are unintended consequences, like for instance, anyone might find the dead gun owner, take their gun, and go on a spree shooting. Also, what if the gun owner goes crazy from the song, but kills other people instead of themselves? Then it will be another failed policy. (But will they admit it didn’t work? No: They never do! It’s just because it wasn’t draconian enough: Quick, double down on the same failed policy! Choose a worse song!)
But only time will tell if this will be an effective solution, or just another rights-curtailing, ineffective measure that merely seeks to punish the innocent (as usual). After all, what are we going to fight the zombies with once they break free from the military laboratory and cause the apocalypse if we can’t buy assault weapons? Or does the government want there to be no witnesses to their zombie-creating crimes? (That’s it, isn’t it?)
No, the only real solution is this: Nerf bullets. The Constitution guarantees the right to bear arms, but not necessarily the right to use deadly ammunition. So how about Nerf bullets? Then everyone can go on a stress-relieving spree shooting any time they want, and nobody will get hurt! Plus, everyone will get bored with guns once they don’t kill anyone anymore, and they’ll all take up knitting. (Oh, but then they’ll go on spree stabbings with knitting needles! Oh, the humanity! Quick: Ban knitting before it’s too late! {People who have seen the original version of the movie The Crazies will know what I’m referring to here.})
Here’s the song:
(Sorry, I think I have been listening to too many of these gun control debates on the news.)
