Yes, you know you can’t escape advertising anymore, not even on PBS!
Even tonight they broke into the engagement kiss between Lady Mary and that fake blonde guy she married to get her rightful inheritance, um, I mean, Matthew Crawley, her dearest love (from a Season 2 repeat)!
And why did they do such a thing? Why, just to solicit us for some filthy lucre! The nerve! (Why not ask Lady Crawley for it? She’s rolling in dough again, isn’t she? We’re all poor, or else we wouldn’t be so fascinated with them, right?)
But if they’re going to hit us up for money, then why not do it right? After all, PBS already shows ads anyway, don’t they? So why not simply get product advertising for the show that’s appropriate for Downton Abbey? Here are some suggestions:
Downton Abbey, sponsored by Rolls Royce: Rolls over peasants in style!
And by Purdey Shotguns: No birdie is safe from a Purdey!
And by Murphy Oil Soap: It isn’t real clean unless you put your back into it!
(Yes, even I, your humble correspondent, have been drawn into the clutching carnivorous catacombs of Downton Abbey. And if I’ve been snared, how long have the rest of you got left? Quick: Run! Save yourselves! Soon they’ll be shilling for the poison Mrs. Bates used to kill herself!)
